Mirage
by Ryuacchi
Summary: A mirage is an illusion, caused by temperatures one is not used to. Goku experiences an event he is not used to, and he does not like it one bit. Contains spoilers from Reload 7


**In case you're really really naughty, I will remind you that this fanfic contains spoilers from **_**Saiyuki Reload Vol. 7.**_** It is highly recommended for you to read that first before reading this. Oh yeah, this was just a random idea that popped out of my head.**

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**Disclaimer: **_**Saiyuki **_**was created by **_**Kazuya Minekura.**_

**Mirage**

The desert was cruel to them.

The heat was at its strongest, beating down their perspiring backs. Everyone, including Hakuryuu, stank of sweat. However, it didn't help in cooling their bodies down. What made it worse was the frequent sandstorms, howling by the wind. Few words were spoken in fear of having sand shoved into their mouths. Their eyes were already teary from the sand that pricked their eyes.

But that wasn't the reason why Goku was currently bundled up in a blanket, not being in a good mood. The bliss that used to fill in his golden eyes were now replaced by melancholy. It was a good thing Gojyo wasn't in the mood to tease him, because it wasn't the right time for it. Then again, all of them were probably depressed because of it.

The cause of their sorrow was the empty passenger seat beside Hakkai.

Whether they could admit it or not, Sanzo was truly the reason why they try to go to the west. He was the one who brought them together about four years ago, and he was the one who gave them that purpose. He was really the leader – Goku would loyally follow him, he was the first one Hakkai would talk to about serious matters, and even though Gojyo would never admit it, he was a fair source of amusement and nicotine (the latter would only happen if Gojyo really ran out of Hit Lites, and there's no other source in sight). Without him, the three (four, if you include Hakuryuu) of them would just wander, travelling without a purpose.

Which is what's happening right now.

Sanzo's sudden disappearance showed how much they were dependent on him. First off was the credit card he possessed, the source of most of their money. Without it, they could not stay at a hotel, or even order for the hue amount of food they needed, thanks to Goku. He was the one who decided how long they will stay at one place, or which direction they should go. They never thought of the fact that they would be actually going to the west without him.

Goku never knew the reason why. Was it because of his stupidity again? Was it because he let himself be so beaten they had to remove his diadem, causing much wounds on Hakkai? Not one of them knew, except that it has something to do with Hazel. It is obviously important, since Sanzo would NEVER choose Hazel over them if he could help it. But that wasn't the point. He was the first one among the three of them to Sanzo. Sanzo was his guardian, and his sudden disappearance affected him the most.

Goku's train of thought was interrupted when the jeep suddenly stopped. "Ahahaha..." he heard Hakkai's usual "laugh". "I'm sorry, but the sand's too steep for Hakuryuu. We have to continue to the next town by foot."

Gojyo let out a string of complaints before going down the jeep, and Goku followed suit. They waited until Hakuryuu was nestled comfortably on the healer's shoulder before continuing again.

Minutes of silence continued. Hakkai, cautious on the strange atmopshere, tried to strike up a conversation. Gojyo responds sometimes, but Goku kept silent. The sudden change about him truly cannot be ignored.

"Hey, monkey." He heard Gojyo talk to him. "What's with all the sulking?"

To their surprise, Goku didn't reply, not even to correct that he wasn't a monkey. The two physically older figures looked at each other, having the same question in their minds.

Goku, realizing how strange he had been acting, put on a strained smile. "Ah, nothing. I just can't see properly with all the heat..."

And suddenly, there was a flicker of gold.

"SANZO!!"

Goku ran to it, ignoring the cries behind him. He was sure it was him! Sanzo, that idiot! All this time, they were going at the same place after all! His flame of hope flickered, happy that he could be with him again...

But he suddenly disappeared. Goku's mood sank down, now slowing down. He ignored the sand that went under his boots from all the running. Sanzo wasn't there at all. He sank down, his adrenaline rush now completely gone.

Soon, he heard Hakkai's voice again. "I'm sorry, Goku, but the figure you just saw might just be a mirage."

"A mirage?"

"Yeah. It's an illusion people usually see when they're at a location with extreme temperatures, such as this dessert."

"No way! I'm sure I saw Sanzo! See? He's right there!"

Goku's faced turned once again to the place where he saw this "mirage", hoping to prove Hakkai wrong.

But what he saw was only the setting sun, showing off brilliant hues of yellow, orange and red.

It wasn't the sun he was looking for.

"Sorry, monkey. But our monk's not going to be with us for a while." Said Gojyo, a new cigarette in hand.

Goku held back tears, his hands forming into knuckles, grasping sand at the process. _Why Sanzo? I'm calling for you. Why won't you come...?_

He then felt a hand, placed softly over his shoulder. He turned around to see Hakkai, his face full of concern. "If there something wrong, Goku?"

The heretic pushed his tears away, causing some sand particles from his hand to fly away with the wind. He then shook his head, pulling off a poker face. "I'm okay now. Everything's fine."

Pulled up by Gojyo and with some more comforting words from Hakkai, the trio continued walking. Goku still had a smile on his face, but he was still sad.

_Yeah, everything's fine..._

_It's just that we're not the Sanzo-ikkou anymore._


End file.
